boon's log 3308.02: Airline: Do you prefer "Smooth Landing" or a "Bumpy Landing"?

In Chandler for a 2-day meeting / visit. Just before i went to bed last night, I read this interesting article in the papers (also available online) on the (absurd) Rising Costs of Air Travel (from a consumers' perspective). I screen-cap'd the tables on the different additional costs that customers will need to pay for the additional frills that used to come free with your air ticket...






So, with most companies (and individuals) pushing for cost cutting efforts, I'd imagine there will be a high demand for center seats (non-aisle/nonwindow), the last row of the airplane, nearest to the toilets with no drinks, no snacks, no meals, no headphones, no allowance for check-in luggage.

Gosh, what can the airlines think of next?? Perhaps the following items will only available for an additional fee as well:
1. satefy belts: $3.00
2. Oxygen masks:
2a. Mask $5.00
2b. Oxygen is regulated at $1.00 per 5cm3
3. Air Stewardess/Steward services in making their rounds (since no food or drinks will be served):
3a. $1.00 for first bell pressed
3b. additional $0.50 for subsequent bell presses
4. lavatory services:
4a. $0.50cents for small business
4b. $1.00 for biggies
4c. $0.20 for tissue paper - this one sounds like some Malaysian Shopping Mall
5. hot towel:
5a. unscented - $0.50
5b. scented - $1.00
5c. scented+anti bacterial - $2.00
6. Bag collection:
6a. Collect your bags at the Airport Carousel - $10.00;
6b. Collect your bags at the gates - FREE
7. flotation device for emergencies:
7a. Polystyrene flotation $1.00
7b. Air-filled $2.00
7c. whistle $3.00
7d. torchlight $4.00 (batteries not included)
8. Air Conditioning:
8a. Foldable Paper Fan $1.00
8b. battery operated fan $3.00 (batteries not included)
8c. air conditioning system $4.00
9. Type of ride (differentiated by Captain and First Officer):
9a. Bumpy Take off/Landing - Free
9b. Smooth Take Off / Landing - $5.00

the lists of absurdities goes on, I guess. But one thing is for certain, air travel may not be as pleasant as it used to - not without an additional cost.

boon out...