boon's log 3606.04: Malaysian Super Hero

I was reading the papers on Tuesday and came over this article about our very own Malaysian Silver Screen Super Hero. Malaysians, get ready for Cicakman! Translated simply to Lizard-man.



The producers of Cicakman promise that this would be a Hollywood comparable super hero comedy set in Metrofulus (actually, PutraJaya) and they throw in loads of CGI and green screen backgrounds... sounds interesting. I think I'll be watching it when it comes out. IL on the other hand said that she will NOT... we'll see. Get ready for it, this coming Raya'06.

Then, I thought to myself, "How creative?" I wonder what will they come up with next? After a quick chat with my colleague, YYC, we came to the conclusion that there is a high chance of having Kapten Durian with his faithful sidekick, Budak Rambutan.

The story is set in a peaceful town of Kampong Kepayang. Ali bin AhKau grew up as any other normal kiddo. But one day, he got lost in his Dad's durian farm and in the midst of getting lost and running around trying to find his way out, the heavens seemed to have opened up its gates and it started to rain durians and it traumatized the poor little Ali bin AhKau. He finally stopped running and curled up in a fetal position until his dad came to save him. As a result of his traumatic experience, Ali bin AhKau suffered from serious post-dropping-durian-tramatic syndrome(PDDTs). After talking to the local Kampong Chief / bomoh, the only way to cure and help poor Ali bin AhKau is to fight fear itself. After a series of secret durian-therapy, Ali bin AhKau was cured. Rising to become fitter and stronger than before. Unknowingly to the bomoh, his dad and Ali himself, a super hero was born... And he is known to the world now as Kapten Durian...

First of all, his costume. Because Ali's face has been scarred by the falling durians, he has dried-durian-skin as his helmet which also partially covers the upper portion of this face and he also wears a durian skin on top of his err... spandex tights, yeah man, for super heroes, it's GOTTA BE spandex tights, right?

And as all superheroes have their special super powers, Kapten Durian's super power is undoubtly the Super-duper Durian Fart. In one of the scenes, Kapten Durian was interrogating one of the bad guys for crucial information to save the world. So, they tied the bad guy up and locked him in an elevator, with Kapten Durian. When the bad guy resisted to talk, Kapten Durian let out his Super-duper Durian Fart. Woah! In nearly knocked the living daylights out of the villain, sending him back to see his ancestors. Feeling "high" on Durian Fart, the villain was half conscious and finally relented and told Kapten Durian and Budak Rambutan all they needed to know...

He's other weapon is also throwing durian skins to defeat the bad guys... YYC said that we've gotta have a weapon that can "kill" the enemy... so violent one.

Well, all super heroes also have weak points, for Kapten Durian, it's gotta be mangosteen (as mangosteen is known to relief the "heatiness" after taking too much durians...). And because all "guy" heroes always fall for chicks, the main villain of the movie's gotta be Poison Mangosteen. And Poison Mangosteen's costume? I'll leave it to your imagination... think primitive.

Other villains can include Chrysanthemum-face, Doctor Lo Hon Ko and Mr. Ling-Chee-Kang...

What about Budak Rambutan, you ask? Well, as with all the "ke-le-fe" (supporting actors) he just prances and dances around as Kapten Durian fights off the bad guys.

And when the peaceful citizens of Kampong Kepayang are in trouble and needs the help of Kapten Durian and Budak Rambutan, they just need to light up the candle behind the mesh-filter that has the cut-out shape of a durian, such that when shone against the sky, it will cast the shadow of a durian on the low hanging clouds above Kampong Kepayang - that's the call sign for Kapten Durian...

Stay tune for (possible) follow-ups of this epic saga of Kapten Durian and Budak Rambutan...

boon out...